Number of days in Amsterdam – 364
Number of days without a bike theft – 360
Days since it last rained – 0
One year ago today, we said goodbye to the world we knew, and headed to the airport. We said goodbye to our closest friends (which made leaving hard), were treated very rudely by the airline staff for traveling with so much stuff, no matter how many times we said we were moving (which made it easier), and got on a one-way plane to Amsterdam.
I honestly don’t remember the flight. I had a glass of wine in Detroit and then… nothing. I don’t remember what films I watched on the plane, what the crappy airplane food was – I don’t remember the flight at all. In retrospect, I was in a serious state of shock.
In the week or so leading up to this day, I had my first panic attack of many. As I thought about what we about to do, and about what still needed to be done, I would get light headed, the world would start spinning, and I wouldn’t be able to breathe. I’d have to sit down, with my head at my knees and try to calm down, as my breath came in shocking gasps. It was a scary experience I’d never had before, just like the scary experience we were preparing for.
After we finally got on the plane, the panic attacks went away. I haven’t had another since.
Now, flash forward one year. I’m walking in the rain (because that’s what you do here) to the huisdokter. I have the Kitten strapped to my chest, and because it hadn’t been raining two minutes ago when I walked out the door, I am holding a shopping bag over her to shield her from the rain.
In a fit of bad judgement and too much information that she will come to resent me for years down the road, I’ll reveal that the baby has diarrhea. She’d actually had it since Saturday, but when I called the huisdokter on Monday, he’d told us to wait a few days and then call again.
A baby with diarrhea is not fun. There are many messy diapers, and she’s not happy about that. Seriously, would you be?
It’s not that we couldn’t handle it. We once had a Cat with IBS, and that was worse. We were just worried is all.
When you’re living so far away from family with such a time difference, you use the internet for advice sometimes. Bad news. The interwebs are loaded with people who don’t know what they’re talking about, giving poorly spelled parenting advice from their home computers, where they’re sitting, giving that advice instead of actually watching their kids. The parents who have the real advice aren’t posting it online.
And if the medical sites are to be believed, then diarrhea in a baby is always a life-threatening condition, indicative of a host of horrible ailments. And while it can be serious, the huisdokter had assured me on Monday that, as long as she was eating, sleeping and playing normally and not running a fever, it would pass.
The nervous parent in me forced the issue this morning, and they agreed to see her.
So, soaked (although the baby was dry), I took her to the huisdokter. He’s a older man with a very kind face. He’s very gentle with the baby, although she did go into a convulsive screaming fit after she was stripped down and put on the table.
He gave her a quick exam – eyes, ears, heart, etc. – and said that, yes, it was some sort of viral infection. Take her home and live life as normal. It would pass.
He also discovered another condition though, and informed me sincerely, “she also has quite a temper.”
I knew this.
So we went back home, and she stayed in her PJs all day, because that’s what you do when you don’t feel good. She ate. played, slept and pooped.
Even with lots of poopy diapers and a worried trip to the huisdokter, today was much better than the day I had one year ago. Babies can make you worry, but they’re really just little people, and while a baby is a new start on life, they’re nowhere near as scary as starting over.
Day 364??? I miss you guys. And happy belated birthday.
Yeah, the first few cases of diarrhea are pretty unnerving and a little reassurance from the doc always helps, at least a little. Sure hope the Kitten’s poop is in a group soon.
As much as I hate the process of traveling in order to be in another place, I find that boarding the plane is the point at which I’m able to surrender control entirely, and everything then seems to feel so much better. I’ve tried time and again during life’s bigger anxious moments to achieve that state of surrender without actually boarding a plane, because boarding a plane only to achieve surrender would be both inconvenient and costly, and it would remove me from the anxiety-riddled situation I’m supposed to be dealing with. So, if you ever devise a drug-free and sure-fire method of achieving the “just boarded the plane and surrendered control” feeling, please write a cleverly titled self-help book and promptly mail me a copy. I might even have a ziploc full of euros in a shoebox in the closet with which to pay you. If I don’t, I’m still good for it.